DUMB

Me having a blog must be the worst idea in the world. I’m polluting the Internet. Haha, I’m like Rick James walking in Charlie and fuck I totally forgot his brother’s name Murphy’s house and draggin’ in dirt and shit and stompin’ on they couch.

“They neva should’ve gave you niggas money!”

HAHAH, jeez I’m an idiot.

Please refer to chart 3.1

I now work at the Tolman Education/Psychology library in Berkeley, so when I'm shelving, I get an idea of what books the faculty in psychology like to borrow. There's one book, it's kept behind the circulation desk, called the DSM and apparently it's the book of standards for psychologists. It outlines what they have agreed upon in various topics in psychology.

DSM-III diagnostic criteria for schizotypal personality disorder

At least four of the following:

1. Magical thinking, e.g. superstitiousness, clairvoyance, telepathy, 'sixth sense', 'others can feel my feelings' (in children and adolescents, bizzare fantasies or preoccupations);
2. Ideas of reference;
3. Social isolation, e.g. no close friends or confidants, social contacts limited to essential everyday tasks;
4. Recurrent illusions, sensing the presence of a force or person not actually present (e.g. 'I felt as if my dead mother were in the room with me'), depersonaization or derealization not associated with panic attacks;
5. Odd speech (without loosening of associations or incoherence), e.g. speech that is digressive, vague, over-elaborate, circumstantial, metaphorical;
6. Inadequate rapport in face-to-face interaction due to constricted or inappropriate affect, e.g. aloof, cold;
7. Suspiciousness or paranoid ideation;
8. Undue social anxiety or hypersensitivity ro real or imagined criticism.

Word? I have like 3 of thems. What does that make me? I always do things half-assed.

Yadadimean

I’m not myself sometimes. Actions that are done don’t mean I agree with them. I don’t agree with my some parts of my past. And I don’t know where I’m going. So there’s only now, and what I do with it. Mmmm. Orange Adidas’ is what I did.

Since engineering is the science that unites the theory with the real, I’ll figure out something to do with artificial intelligence. Maybe I’ll make an instrument anybody can play. It will read your body motions, face contortions, and tone of voice to decide what kind of tune to play, based on the songs you already have on your head, or maybe the ones already on your computer. I’ll also make a program on your word processor that actually processes your words. You know, like sometimes I just want to say ;;alksdj f;laskjdf ass;alkd jfa;eio ircm snmn but I want it to mean something and make sense to someone else, too. So it will take that and based on what mood your in, determined by such measurements such as sweat on your fingertips, the kind of music you’re playing, your body position in your chair, and the dilation of your pupils, to make something out of those jumble of words. Maybe a clever analogy, or historical anecdote. Then you can actually associate those feelings with the words you read, thus expanding vocabulary and maybe even inadvertently inventing slang. And even though all the slang you invented is different from someone else, if they are entered on a computer, like an AIM chat for example, the emotions would be transmitted by association, since the computer can do that with its AI. Dope. Everybody would be an artist, and everybody would be listening to the music they want to hear. Then musicians will be even more pro, augmenting their musical instruments they already have with AI associative-ness and then have their natural talent to play to make even more creative music. DOPE. I really do believe engineering provides artists with tools of the trade, while pure scientists and mathematicians provide engineers with inspiration. And then the humanities provide errbody with a second opinion. MMMMM

Let’s see how I feel about this tomorrow. Jeez, I must have been trippin’ on acid.

Clean-up on Aisle 4

I wish I could write right now. I can’t seem to express myself.

Here’s a stray thought. Being strapped down tight with your mouth taped up probably wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t want to krump, spit, or shake ‘dem dreads so much. Or maybe that’s just me.


I tend to think laterally a lot nowadays. Maybe I should stop admiring the coral reefers and come up to the surface to breathe. This blinking cursor is getting on my nurvesss.

Here’s another stray thought. I must be at a thought kennel. ZING. Anyways, I also have the recent urge to fight someone. It’s a pretty strong urge. But not to worry, I haven’t gone all Juggernaut (bless his helmet he got in 4th grade) on anybody’s ass. Well, in a nutshell, I have the urge to start a club where you fight. A fight club. And I’ll start it one night out in a street where I’ll have a heated argument with myself and then start beating the crap out of myself.

It’s a great idea. In fact, it’d make a great cult movie.

So there, some muffled mumbles from under the gag around my mouf.

Brain burp

I just remembered. More than one time in elementary school, I called my teacher “Mommy.” It was weird. I remember stopping and just thinking, “Jeez, why’d I do that?”

And then my teacher would laugh.

Kick it up a notch

YUM.

Today tastes good. Like the crunchy, quenching taste of cucumber slices. Like super-whipped cream cheese on a toasted half of a garlic bagel. Like a bottle of Jarritos. What color, you ask? Maybe green.

YUM.

Ba-dum...

I have a dilemma. I want to express how I feel into words and sentences. But sometimes it doesn’t quite come together. But hey, I had two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches + milk, and I feel like I can do anything.

So here it is. I feel like jivin’. I feel like grindin’. I feel like groovin’. I feel like shakin’. I feel like bakin’. I feel like struttin’. I feel like two-steppin’. I feel like thizzin’. I feel like krumpin’. I feel like breakin’. I feel like ollie-in’. I feel like ravin’. I feel like ragin’. I feel like poppin’. I feel like lockin’. I feel like goin’ dumb, puttin’ it down for the hella fly god of Hip-Hop.

The beat starts with the heart. So eat your cheerios, its good for you.

Knowin' nothin' in life but to be legit

It seems I like to write when I’m in this kind of mood. The jaded mood. So basically this blog will forever emit my kryptonite-infused thoughts in the wild world of the internet. Like a stinky star I made when rolling up trash in that one game, Katamari Damacy. It’ll be in the sky forever.

I’ll move on someday. Soon hopefully.

“I’ve never been in a fight before, now my mind’s at war” – Jiminy Cricket, The Procussions

"On Intelligence" by Jeff Hawkins

Do I need to remind myself of my intentions? My reasons? My justifications?

I’m reading a book that theorizes that the neocortex of our brain works on a unified algorithm to interpret what’s coming through our senses. By “interpret” I mean to call up memories that are attached to that stimulus to find the best plan of action. This plan of action doesn’t even have to involve action. That is what the author calls intelligence. Building enough memory to associate infinitely and creatively, and come up with “solutions.” He believes that computer science isn’t capable of that kind of intelligence. He proposes another plan in his book. I’m not there yet.

What is funny is how he mentions that there is not that much research going on about trying to figure out intelligence. What comes out in this field is as widespread and crazy as trying to figure out the solar system back in the day.

I feel like the block towards finding the answer is internal. People wanted to believe the Earth was the center of the universe. And now people want to believe that what goes on in our minds is magical, or at least special. The drama, our emotions, our unique thought processes, our habits, our cravings… our lives in general.

It will probably suck a lot to have that all reduced to a science. Or not. We’ll just have to wait and see.